Electric Blue Jack Dempsey Cichlid

A change Would do you good (*) Always standing

(*) Yes, the title is taken from a familiar song .

My life took a new turn. An inevitable turn. I could not continue to deny, deny, deny me doggedly traced the path of life. My life. I could not be more blatantly blind to happiness. I just could no longer live in a half. So I took the party to be happy. Nothing less. For too

seek approval and happiness of others, I finally forget. I still have a long way to go, I am not yet cured of this compelling need to please all, to be absolutely perfect in the eyes of all, to be stronger than I am. In recent weeks, many of those who doubted. Many did not believe in my ability, or thought I had totally the wrong way, dazzled by a fleeting illusion, taken to extremes in an unguarded moment. If only I could ignore all that prevents me now to experience fully the rapture of living too long sealed in me and yet just waiting to burst with joy, without coercion, without the unhealthy phobia injure others. That's why I started therapy that will allow me - I hope - to better assert myself against other, less guilty when my decisions are not unanimously, to act always have this fear of being judged, to appear imperfect this fear of always fail in the eyes of others.

So now, I've changed.

Changed remains. Changed the man of my life. Changed my vision. Changed the perception I have of myself. This is just the beginning.

*** On a lighter note, any change is necessarily accompanied by a drastic overhaul hair (yes, really).

last Thursday to celebrate with great pomp and my half-birthday ( *) - August 15 - I opted for a new purple wig with black locks. (Which, with my ghostly complexion and my rings about as huge as the ac Memphremagog me strangely close to the famous Morticia Addams .)


The next day at the daycare center, child exclaimed, "You changed hair! Have you changed your name too? "Adorable!:-D

( *) Well, yes, my childish side. One would expect of a girl who proudly proclaims that it has 5 ½ years, not an adult mortified to late twenties (2 ½ years of suspension ... ouhhh) .. .

The First Born Greetings

Your words of encouragement affect me. Enormously. Deeply. Thank you.

Simply, thank you.

Having changed remains indefinitely, I have little access to the Internet for some time. And so much to tell ... However, where I live now, the technology is lacking (* ahem * to speak in a politically correct, otherwise I would say that I live in an area on the edge of oblivion (aka nowhere, the Bermuda Triangle West Island, Atlantis or whatever), where technological tools are a) absent b) deficient c) so outdated that the slowest snails seem ultra-fast side).

you soon, I hope ... time that the geek that I am getting the upper hand and is a brilliant idea to access the Internet without too much pain! ;-)

Catchy Phrases For 21st Birthday

The volcano woke up ...

back. On a long trip. At the bottom of my being. Both say to hell. Because inside of me burns a volcano. Fire. Heat unbearable.

back different and yet still me. Me too. Abjectly me. Regardless, be another would not solve anything. Be another would have been a decoy, a way out too easy. I am a coward, but not always. Fortunately, not always.

Because this time, my usual cowardice, one that I use sometimes fireworks or escape would have been futile. Absolutely useless. Life has made me a person excessively vague, sometimes timid, often secret, but she also donated two strengths that I have always faithfully carried such torches: honesty and integrity. Never, ever, my cowardice would have taken precedence over those lights that I honor my best. He does not need. I do not want. This is not me. Especially when it comes to human feelings. Car does not leak. Even though my head, my soul, my heart and my body wanted to flee to avoid the kind of volcano does his morbid torpor ...

But maybe he should come forward.

I hope the time will come at the end of this burning too bright. Mine. Yours. Ta burn, the fire that eats away at you despite yourself. The fire that I have caused. Your distress. Mine. Our destinies plates breaking. No, that come together otherwise. Because I want to believe it. Because I believe it.